Monday, July 7, 2014

Finding Freedom in Our Stories - Postpartum Anxiety


Today I read my friend Kate's blog post titled "Finding Freedom in Our Stories"... hence my super original name for this post (wink). It hit me right in the gut with some issues I've been trying to tackle head on and made me realize that I wanted to be open about in a way that would hopefully give me the strength to overcome them.

Since Alexa was born I've been suffering from anxiety. Lots of anxiety. The kind that makes my heart race, makes me fearful to leave my home, makes me forgetful and unable to fall asleep, makes me desperate for escape. After Alexa was born I didn't leave my home for 3 months except for the absolute essential doctor appointments, mail drop-offs, and the occasional craft supply run... though with modern online shopping so easily at my fingertips you'd be very surprised how infrequently I had to leave my home. At the time I thought it was ok... maybe even normal for a new mom to be feeling that way. I didn't have much family around and friends visits were always spent adoring my admittedly adorable baby so I didn't have anyone to speak with about this or to point out the fact that it was unusual. I didn't come to realize the grasp it had taken on my life until very recently and now that it's been pointed out to me it seems glaringly obvious that not all was well.

I wont give anymore examples, but there were many more that should have been great indicators... and really it doesn't matter because what happened is what happened and now it's time to accept that and try to move forward. I share lots of happy moments here on my blog, but today I just wanted to share a struggle in order to find freedom from it. It's easy to share the beautiful parts of life, but that just doesn't complete the picture. My action plan is set up and I'm going to overcome this. It is a part of my story of motherhood, but it will not define my life.

4 comments:

  1. there is something freeing about putting it all out there!! it takes vast courage but always yields a profit of realizing you aren't alone!!! I struggled after the birth of my 2nd and after the adoption of our 3rd. there is something about major change that can cause me to feel and act so differently than the norm. but after I was honest about the things I was struggling with, my friends surrounded me with prayer and kindness and understanding. it makes a huge difference. one day at a time, dear mama. you'll wake up soon and feel like your old self...but until then, it's ok to feel sad and anxious. those are real emotions and will help you dig deep into who you are. I have a feeling it will end up bringing you to a new place of peace and confidence in yourself as a mom.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dearest Jenna, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am so thankful that my words found you. I want you to know that I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. You are not alone. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Although these things do not define us they become part of our story and give us courage to continue.

    Always grateful for the bends in the road.... Kimberly

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for sharing Jenna. I've followed your blog and business for a while and admired the business you've created. I've always wanted a creative career like yours but with a toddler and a new baby I often feel paralyzed on where and how to start. I appreciate your honesty and sharing the truth, not only "the good stuff." Good luck with your journey!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you and building friendships. Thanks for taking the time to comment!